161 | The Different Experiences of Black & White Professionals with Kristin Harper
Our guest today on the pod is Kristin Harper. After 20 years in Corporate America leading some of the world's iconic brands like Crest, Oral-B and Hershey's Kisses, Kristin established Driven to Succeed to help build brands and advance careers. Though education, hard work and technical skills are all important, Kristin found one secret ingredient to advance in business - Emotional Intelligence. Leading with Head and Heart is what all her work is based in.
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Kristin Harper Awarepreneurs Interview
SPEAKERS
Paul Zelizer, Kristin Harper
Paul Zelizer 00:01
Hi, this is Paul Zelizer, and welcome to another episode of The aware partners podcast. This podcast is all about the intersection of three things, conscious business, social impact, and awareness practices. Each episode, I do a deep dive interview with a thought leader in this intersection. Someone who has market tested experience and is already transforming many lives. Before I introduce our topic, and our guest today, I have one request. If you could go to iTunes or whatever app you're listening to the show on and do a rating and review it helps tremendously. So today, I'm thrilled to introduce you to Kristen Harper. And our topic is the different experiences of black and white professionals. After 20 years in corporate America, leaving some of the world's most iconic brands like crest or ob and Hershey's Kisses, Kristin established, driven to succeed to help build brands and advance careers, through education, hard work, and technical skills are all important. Person found one secret ingredient that advances business, emotional intelligence, leading with heart and head is what her work is based on. Kristen, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Paul. It's my pleasure to be here. Got some big things to talk about. I'm really pointing things and really timely topics. Before we get into our topic today. were called to wear printers, Kristen. And one of the ways we'd like to get to know somebody is to ask you about a wellness or an awareness practice that you personally use to bring your best self to Work Day after day, week after week? That's a great question. And one of my best strategies is
Kristin Harper 01:40
emotional vocabulary. There is something called a feelings wheel, and you can Google it, and you'll see that there are dozens of emotions. And what I know from my research and from my life and work experience is that when you identify just one emotion of how you're feeling, it could minimize that emotions power over you. And I know for sure that this year, especially we've experienced so many rain, so much of a range of emotions. And sometimes those emotions can get the better of us. But using those feelings will building that emotional vocabulary, and identifying just one emotion that can reduce this power over us. So that's one of my best resilience tips and strategies.
Paul Zelizer 02:27
Awesome. And all the links, all the resources and resources we mentioned in today's show, I will put a link in the show notes. So if you're new here, you know that we love resources. And Kristen, you may have just like beat the record of like getting resources in the show. Like a minute, right?
02:46
I love it.
Paul Zelizer 02:47
So this work about you know, building brands and thinking about how people who look different experience life and business like how did that work become your life's work?
Kristin Harper 03:00
Yeah, so I wouldn't even say that it has become my life's work as relates to how business professionals look at race and engage in business. I would say my life's work has really been around transforming insights into actions and outcomes. So I'm a third generation entrepreneur, I started my first business at the age of 14, selling cookies, and then teaching piano and it just snowballed from there, if you will. So I spent the past 20 years in corporate America, leading some of the world's most iconic brands like crest and oral B and Hershey's Kisses. I've worked in business to consumer I've worked in business, a business across multiple industries, and recently left to establish driven to succeed. So what we do is provide market research, brand strategy, consulting, and Keynote speaking on leadership and emotional intelligence. So the topic that we're talking about today, business professionals on race, I am not a diversity, equity and inclusion expert or practitioner. I'm simply a citizen of America. I am a woman. I am an African American, who's gone from college intern to global VP in my 30s, within corporate America, and the murder of George Floyd really well, something up in me a deep amount of grief, a deep amount of sorrow and disappointment. And I really wanted to figure out what could I do that would make a meaningful difference and people's hearts and minds to ultimately eradicate this nasty pandemic, if you will, of systemic racism.
Paul Zelizer 04:44
And in this role, or in these roles of being a business leader, and then launching your own company, you notice that there were some really different experiences in the professional world in the business world in the entrepreneur world. Black people and my people were having very different embodied experiences and you decided to like, bring some awareness to that conversation. Tell us about that.
Kristin Harper 05:10
Absolutely. So, in my own grieving process from George Floyd's murder, I wanted to figure out what I could do that will make a difference. And so I decided to sponsor along with my teammate Kaylee Dugan, who is a market research extraordinare. And we partner together in providing market research to fortune 500, brands, organizations, and others who are really looking to uncover insights to transform and drive growth within their respective organizations. So we decided to sponsor two community dialogues on race, one with black professionals, and the other with white professionals. So we reached out to our personal networks, we had about 16 participants in the groups in total. And it was anonymous, a closed door conversation. And I equate it, Paul to a little bit of Pillow Talk, we I would say, Kaylee, and I have a very good knack for establishing rapport. And there's something so special about bringing together a group that has affinity around a particular experience or point of view, because the conversation went really deep, really fast. And it was very, very candid. And I'd love to share during our time together some of the insights that we uncover,
Paul Zelizer 06:32
love to hear about them. So just before we get into the specific experiences in the insights, like what were you hoping to happen in this dialogue? And why now?
Kristin Harper 06:43
Yes, I was hoping for understanding. I was hoping for empathy. And I was hoping for advocacy that leads to action. Why now, race, politics, oftentimes religion, those are taboo subjects that at least MIT I am, many of my colleagues were taught never to discuss in the workplace. But these taboo topics after in the past few months, the floodgates have really opened. And it is the topic that people want to know about. Why Now, why now is because many African Americans, many people of African descent, other ethnic minorities, have long experience some of the disparities that exist, some of these disparities are not intentional. That's why there's such a focus right now on unconscious bias training. Because many of the actions and behaviors and viewpoints that people have truly are unconscious, they truly are unintentional. But the impact is can be just the same and just as detrimental as intentional and systemic racism that exists. So why now is because there are so many people who have had a great awakening. It's no coincidence, from my perspective, that we're experiencing multiple pandemics and multiple challenges at the same time to see a murder on a video. And to see someone, a human being putting their neck on another human being for eight minutes and 46 seconds. That is something that you cannot unsee. And so why now, because there are so many people who are awoke, who are now seeing that something is wrong. This is not how we should treat other human beings. And so why now, because people want to do something. And we found that out from our research, particularly with white professionals, they want to do something, they're more they learn, the more they want to do, but they truly don't know what to do. And that's where we wanted to help.
Paul Zelizer 09:04
So let's talk about what did you hear in these two different groups, yet a group of Let's start the group of black professionals, what was their experience being black professionals in the US in you know, 2020? And, you know, and in this time, what were they telling you in terms of their embodied experience at work?
Kristin Harper 09:23
Yeah. So when it comes to corporate life, some of the things that the black professional shared and by the way, all of these black professionals were from director to C suite. So they were very senior leaders, very tenured leaders, at various companies across the US. Here's some of the things that they shared, and I quote, in many of these instances, I have to train my words they talked about not being able to be fully expressed, and almost This is my word, having to suppress their words, and not be too much of anything to avoid making white noise. People feel uncomfortable or afraid. One person said at 9am, I get to corporate, and I'm polished and I play a role. But at five o'clock, I'm just another black person on the street. And so they talked about, you know, having to almost wear the mask, as one of the great poets talked about. They talked about the fact that whites bond together after work, but I'm not included. And in those times of going to dinner, or going to parties, or happy hours or playing golf, camaraderie is built, and new relationships and deeper relationships are built, and being excluded from those social activities. And bonding activities can have a detrimental impact on their ability to progress within within the workplace, that they don't have the luxury of a built in network that they have had to work for everything they've gotten and work really, really hard. One lady said, being black and female is doubly exhausting having to curb and alter your ethnicity so that you're relatable. And many said that I don't share much about myself because I fear that it will be used against me. And because of that, I often have to assimilate much more than I can be authentic and express that authenticity. As they move up the corporate ladder, there are many people who don't look like them. There is definitely an aspect of being the only one in the room. And sometimes that gets exhausting, because diversity is having diversity at every level. And not just one at each level. They talked about that all whites who smile really like you and I'm tired of lame excuses on why blacks aren't promoted. Being nice and working hard is never enough. And as a result, I feel like my soul is slowly deteriorating. I'm on pins and needles, always looking always under the spotlight and under scrutiny looking over my shoulder. And part of this is because we don't have the same starting point. People don't look at from their perspective, African American professionals in the same way that they look at others, there are just some things that are not forgiven. Some personality traits that aren't forgiven. Specifically, one of the things I talked about is an observation that many black executives, especially men tend to be more passive, so that they're not seen as a threat so that they're not seen as an angry black man. But it's a conundrum when you are naturally passionate when you naturally communicate with emotion. But people may look at you as an angry black man or an angry black woman. So overall, the predominant feeling of the black professionals we talked to is that of exhaustion. And it's only gotten worse after the death of George Floyd. Sounds exhausting? And yes, on top of just the structural things and navigating them. Now there's I would imagine crysta now there's the emotion of seeing people that look like you murdered, you know, we just had one in Wisconsin, the other Yes, actually, the person didn't die shot in the back seven times. You go to work with all those emotions and like you're supposed to just business as usual. Really? Right. Yeah, absolutely exhausting. And it has been and you know, one of the great, I won't say benefit, it's it feels so trite to say that. But George Floyd's daughter did say, My daddy changed the world. And I fundamentally believe that. So I will say that one of the benefits has come out of this season of grief and challenge is that African Americans don't have to hide as much anymore. That you know, that standard question on Monday morning, how is your weekend? There people are altering that question based on the people that I've talked with. And even the clients that I work with, they're altering that question because there is a greater level of sensitivity to the diverse experiences and the things that matter to their co workers and to leaders. So let's shift gears just for a second. Kristen, what were you hearing in the circle with white professionals? Yeah, so we shared, we shared some of the insights from the black professionals group, we asked so we started with the white professionals by asking them, you know, how do they feel what's going through their head and in their hearts around the death of George Floyd and we asked them for one word, they said despair, confusing, necessary, torn, horrific and hopeful, backward and sadness. I want to I want to elaborate on a couple of those words as they shared, one was around necessary. So this person talked about the fact that it was necessary to be able to see this horror to initiate and inspire change. And that's one of the reasons that so many people are more hopeful and more optimistic that we are at a tipping point. And that change albia, slow, will come horrific and hopeful, again, that same sentiment of just the terror and the horror of seeing something so tragic and inhumane. But the hope that good will come from this backward and sadness, because these are similar types of challenges that were discussed 2030 4050 years ago, in their childhood, that we're still dealing with today. They did say, you know, I want to learn, I want to help, but I have to start with education. And those needs can be conflicting, many are nervous, they said, I'm nervous opening the subject of race, because I don't want to offend. And that's a very real sentiment among many white people. And often, it's because, and I can say this from, you know, being a black woman and, and someone who has worked in corporate for for 20 years, because race has been such a taboo subject. And because of the history of systemic racism in America, there is a deep amount of distrust and skepticism when it comes to how many African Americans look at white people. And so no wonder why whites are nervous about opening up the subject of race. Because unfortunately, we live in what's known as a canceled culture, which I personally do not like at all, because, you know, people are human, and in this in our education in our quest to be better humans. And certainly in our quest, to learn more about race, we will make mistakes. And that includes covers a spectrum, no matter what race or ethnicity you are. So there is some amount of fear of not wanting to offend. But my personal perspective, Paul, is that we have to have these dialogues, or else we won't build the understanding, and empathy necessary to build bridges, to build empathy, and to take action so that we can progress in a forward looking way as a country, and as a world, and especially as individuals,
Paul Zelizer 17:45
listening to what you're sharing really, really helpful. And I'm thinking, I'm backing up for a little bit, and we're going to talk about what you do in the second part of the show. But one of the specific things you do is market research, and particularly not just numbers, but qualitative market research and what you just shared, I'm like, oh, there's Christine's genius showing through in a conversation that that's not normally applied. So what was it like to bring your market research brain to this particular topic?
Kristin Harper 18:16
Oh, it was so meaningful, I get so much joy, first of all, from talking to people, and just getting to know people, we are each fearfully and wonderfully made, every person in this world is unique. There's no one like you in the world. So I love First of all, being able to talk to people. Second, this was very meaningful, we sponsored this research. Because there is work to do, there is an enormous amount of work to do around this taboo subject that has permeated every facet of our society. So it felt so meaningful, to be able to take what I love doing and I will say what I'm good at, along with Kaylee in her 2030 years of market research experience, and put it towards something that is good. I'm a fundamental believer that you cannot legislate people's hearts. You can change laws, you can change policies, but you cannot create a law to change someone's heart. And so when it comes to this very complex issue around racism and systemic racism, those are deeply ingrained beliefs, behaviors, it relates to how people were raised, where they were raised, what their experiences have been, how they consume media and entertainment and what influences their beliefs. So it was so meaningful to be able to take my professional expertise and put it toward this good cause.
Paul Zelizer 19:54
Having done this, what would you say and let's let's stay with how you broke it down. What would you say to the white professionals having done this research had these dialogues kind of brought your genius of market research and understanding needs? that emerges from that? Like, what would you recommend to the white leaders who are listening to this podcast? About what you learn from these dialogues? And what you would suggest to how to be more skillful in these conversations and how to become more anti racist leaders in the work that they do?
Kristin Harper 20:31
Absolutely. I think that it starts with education. There are so many great resources there. There are two that I really Herald. One is white fragility by Robyn D'Angelo. excellent book. And one of the things that I think is so meaningful about white fragility, and is something that we experienced even in our research is I facilitated the focus group, the community dialogue with African Americans, Kaley, who is my teammate, who was a white lady, white woman, she facilitated the research with the white professionals. And I think that that is really meaningful and important, because when it comes to something that is deeply rooted and very complex, sometimes it's easier to hear from someone who is like you. And so white fragility, I found is an excellent resource. And I've learned a great deal from hearing Dr. D'Angelo, and reading that book, even as an African American woman. The second is how to be an anti racist by Ephraim kindy. One of the things that is so provocative about the research that he's done, and the work that he's done, is that there's no such thing as saying, I'm not racist. His perspective based on his research is, it's just a matter of how racist or not you may be in a given moment, because he's given many examples that you can say something that may be racist in nature. But you know, a few minutes later, do something or say something that may be anti racist. So I encourage, first of all, education, and those are two excellent resources, that are also very heralded in Amazon and USA Today as best sellers, etc. The second I would say is, once you have educated yourself, start to build more trusting relationships, what not to do, is to ask black people to educate you, that leads to even more exhaustion. And in fact, during our community dialogue, some of the black professionals shared that they've been asked to speak at town halls, they've been asked to speak in meetings. And essentially, it's asking to put their dis their pain on public display. And that's not always fair. So town halls, meetings, if it comes to advocacy, and here's what you can do, to help us to advocate to move forward, that's great, but asking other blind people to educate you, when that's something that you can do on your own, and in my opinion, should do on your own because it is such a personal journey, and often an emotional one that's uncomfortable, then I would say, Paul, there are so many people who talk about ally ship, and there was a key Aha, that came out of this research. We asked, What do you think about the word ally, we asked that to our black professionals, and they said they hate the word. They said, ally is passive, it means you're sitting on the sidelines, it means that you're not you're just supporting, but not necessarily taking action. They prefer advocacy instead. So I would suggest a language shift from ally to advocate. So how are the ways that you can advocate one through action, not just rhetoric, there are a lot of people who are sick of all of these CEO letters, you know, stating their denouncing of systemic racism. But if it's not met with meaningful action that is measured, it's not going to get done. That's one of my favorite quotes, what gets measured gets done. They want diversity at every level. So how can you do that, including African Americans in succession planning in your talent planning. At one of the companies that I worked for, they had a specific diverse talent review. That's an excellent way to drive focus on diverse talent, sponsoring and identifying people who should move up sponsoring and that means putting your neck out on the line, naming someone in those meetings and in those closed doors, where others are not at the table, throwing their name in the hat and supporting If there are gaps, one of the things I've talked to two different chief diversity officers in the past week, and one of the things they said is missing is giving real feedback to African American talent. Because there's been such a tense relationship between many African Americans and white people. Sometimes many times, black people are not getting real constructive feedback, they're getting feedback on their personality, oh, such and such as nice or they get along or, you know, we really appreciate what they bring to the team. Know, they need both positive and constructive feedback, there's no way you can build a pipeline of talent within your organization, if you're not giving real, constructive feedback that helps people get better and understand their blind spots. And there are plenty of resources that can help your talent to be able to grow. And to close some of those gaps, in fact, offer a level up coaching course, it's a coaching course that people can do online on their own, or that they can engage in through a group format, to really position themselves for promotion. And the very first step we do is 360 feedback because people are not getting honest feedback. And that is hindering their ability to progress. So those are a few opportunities of what white people can do, especially those who are in positions of leadership to be able to help African Americans progress and grow.
Paul Zelizer 26:34
Thanks so much, Kristen, I want to hear more about the specifics of what you do. But let's do this. First, let's take a break hear from our sponsor, and then we'll come back and hear how you actually work with people. So we're printers isn't like most podcasts where we have website service or meal delivery plan that sponsors us. We're a community supported podcast, it's called the aware printers community. And what we do is we help businesses that have a positive impact that are looking to make a difference. Grow impact more people like to talk about, we help you grow your income and your impact. So for example, on this very topic tonight, a bunch of us got together and we said as a space, the conscious business base has a lot to learn about diversity, equity and inclusion, we approached several of our members who are world class di trainers, Nicole Lee and Erica Heinz. And tonight we start a class for people in the conscious business space that called inclusion and conscious business. And we crowd sourced and did collective action and have 47 people signed up and really learning how to make our businesses more effective anti racist, and inclusive businesses in our space. In addition to collective action, we you can learn how to use LinkedIn and one of our LinkedIn pods or Instagram to grow your business and your impact on Instagram. We have a podcast success team, all tailored around businesses, like our listeners have to help you increase your impact and to increase your income so you can live a good quality life. If you'd like to learn more, you can go to a where printers.com forward slash community. And thank you so much for the members who sponsor this podcast. We're really grateful. So Kristin and the second part of the show we'd like to like joke about but only partially joke about putting on our entrepreneur glasses so driven to succeed. When did you actually start it?
Kristin Harper 28:36
Yeah, I started it in 2018. And went full time in November of 2019.
Paul Zelizer 28:41
Nice the 2018 you start in 20 years of experience, like what was going through your head as you're transitioning out of corporate and saying it's time to do this work? Like, why did you start it and what were you hoping to accomplish with the business.
Kristin Harper 28:58
Yeah, so it started really from doing some speaking engagements, some speaking around leadership and emotional intelligence. And I was at a space in my career where we had just gone through a really difficult we're going through a difficult acquisition, and it was very, very draining. And I've been through several acquisitions before. And so I knew a little bit what to expect. And one of the things that I knew that I needed to do was to manage my own emotions, because as a leader, your emotions, absolutely trickle down to your team. And at a highly emotional time, like an acquisition and combining businesses and the uncertainty of what the future will hold. I need an outlet. And so I started that outlet by just jotting down some of my lessons in leadership. And that's what led to my book, the heart of a leader. So what prompted me to leave corporate and take that leap. It really was reflecting on what are my strengths What are my gifts? And where do I really thrive? I've had an amazing career at some great companies, including Procter and Gamble, the Hershey Company, and most recently, Cardinal Health. And what I realize is that I thrive, when it comes to marketing, when it comes to innovation, when it comes to uncovering insights to drive growth and outcomes and results, and what the company needed at that time, and the role that I was playing, was more around cost cutting, so and operations and I got really, really good at general management and operations. But it isn't what brought me joy. And so I took that leap of faith into entrepreneurship, to focus on where I am uniquely talented and skilled. And what would bring me more joy. Wow, pivoting into a new space of income. So that is the story.
Paul Zelizer 30:55
Cool. And tell us about the book. So the book is about emotional intelligence and leadership. And you have these 52 lessons or themes that you share with people tell us a little bit about that.a
Kristin Harper 31:05
Absolutely. So the book is called the heart of a leader 52 emotional intelligence insights to advance your career. It is number one, it was a number one new release on Amazon, it has a perfect five star rating. And I've gotten so many pieces of great feedback and input from people who have read the book. So it started off as this passion project. And it really focuses on leadership and emotional intelligence competencies, has lots of tools, lots of insights, inspiring quotes. And it's really for goal getters who aren't satisfied with status quo career. So whether you are a individual contributor who aspires to leadership, whether you are in middle management and are looking for that director or higher level, or whether you're more an executive, and are looking to create and refine other leaders, while also refining your own leadership and EQ, this book is for you. And I've gotten great feedback that the book is so relevant, no matter where you are in your career, I've also gotten feedback that I need to create a workbook because people are taking so many notes, they've created their own journals of just reflecting on many of the activities that I have in the book. So that's a little bit about the book.
Paul Zelizer 32:22
That's really inspiring to go through and read some of the reviews on Amazon. And yeah, people really had some very positive things to say.
Kristin Harper 32:30
Thank you.
Paul Zelizer 32:32
So in addition to the book, you've got these kind of three buckets of what you do talk to us about the market research part, like who hires you and what kind of things are they looking for help with?
Kristin Harper 32:43
Yeah, so often, the clients that we work with are fortune 500 companies who are marketing brands, generally they are product brands. So some of the companies that we have worked with, it's been a wide roster, companies and household names that you may know like Campbell's and Clorox Hershey General Mills, Kellogg's, Levi's, PepsiCo, Pfizer, Kraft, Sara Lee Safeway. So we've worked with Kaylee and I a wide variety of companies. And oftentimes, you know, innovation is really the key to growth. I worked in the oral care industry, the oral care category, when I worked at Procter and Gamble, and specifically I worked in the crest and the oral B brand. So if you think about crest, toothpaste, you know, something that everybody uses every day as toothpaste. You know, many years ago, it started off as just tartar control, and then it moved to cavity protection and, and now we have whitening toothpaste, and we have, you know, toothpaste that have charcoal in it, etc. So these innovations are often inspired by market research and consumer insights. So what we do at driven to succeed, we facilitate research, the clients that I mentioned, fortune 500, and other startups, and organizations generally hire us to talk with their target audience or their existing customer base to uncover different insights about what is it like in their lives? And what are some of their unmet needs? And what are some of their challenges and pain points. And so with those insights, we work with the teams to then provide brand strategy consulting, which is a second pillar of what we do at German to succeed. We take those insights and transform them into concepts that can be tested quantitatively. So we move from the qualitative and talking to people to the quantitative which includes things like surveys, so we can get a larger base size of how people are responding to different ideas, and opportunities. And then we help the teams to develop those concepts to brainstorm to brand them to innovate. And this also applies to anywhere Organization who's looking for insights that can drive growth and or change and or new marketing campaigns, etc. So that's the second pillar of what we do brand strategy consulting. And the third is keynote speaking and supporting people as a relates to their specific career. So key clients includes, again, fortune 500, companies, you know, conferences and organizations, colleges certainly love being on your podcast today, Paul. And then we provide a suite of services to help individuals. So we have a program called level up, which helps you to advance and grow your career. So this can be purchased individually if you are interested in growing and investing in yourself and your career. And that will help you to position yourself for promotion. And then we also have a brand positioning blueprint bootcamp for entrepreneurs. So the some of the same insights and tools that we use to grow startups and even billion dollar brands. I've summarized that into this boot camp for entrepreneurs, so that you don't waste your time and money on a new business idea, when there's really no market need. So we help you to validate, and confirm that there is a real business idea before you waste your time and money so that you can increase your odds of success. So those are three pillars we offer market research, brand, strategy, consulting, and Keynote speaking combined with Career Career support for rising leaders.
Paul Zelizer 36:36
Nice. Again, put a link to all those in the show notes. So Kristin, as you mentioned earlier, we're in the midst of this confluence of crises, right. Like for instance, keynote, speaking, has changed a little bit in the past?
36:50
Yes, a lot.
Paul Zelizer 36:53
So how Yeah, how does this environment that we find ourselves influence what you're doing at driven to succeed?
Kristin Harper 37:02
Yeah, we've just had to pivot. So you know, travel is all but stopped, certainly, among corporations and businesses. And so we've just gone virtual. So we did virtual before. And we've we've honed and made even better our virtual presence from a keynote speaking perspective, market research, we actually pivoted what we normally do with our ethnographic research, we go into people's homes, and we have two hour conversations with individuals. And we do that for about eight to 12 individuals, we've pivoted that and we are going, we've gone online now. And so these community dialogues, and what we talked about earlier, was a great example of bringing together a group of people who have an affinity around a certain topic or experience. And we can uncover deep insights, through zoom, and through our online community dialogues. And the great news for clients is that is a less expensive way to get just as meaningful insights. So we've just had to pivot what we do and where we do it, but the impact is just the same. And the speed actually is a lot greater for our clients. So it's worked in our favor.
Paul Zelizer 38:22
What would you say you've pivoted, you've changed, you've had to adapt? What would you say to somebody who's, you know, in this inquiry about what my business is, what my strategies gonna be, it was already something that you know, I'm working on maybe isn't as crisp as possible. And now I'm interfacing with this economy with that's really complex. There's all these things going on, there's a lot of uncertainty and leaders and brands are kind of scratching their heads and some are, you know, little bit deer in the headlights. How can you, you're somebody who's thought a lot about emotional intelligence and even wrote a book on it. Like, how does the leader manage some of those deer in the headlights? Like, Oh, my God, 2020? Right? Could there be any more we don't even want to ask that question? Because, right. I, you know, that that that internal experience, and just like me being a human being, then I'm a leader, and people are looking to me, and then there's like, beyond the organization and how we're like, positioning ourselves in the marketplace. That's a lot of layers with a lot of human emotion and uncertainty. What kind of things are you recommending to your clients and your colleagues?
Kristin Harper 39:39
Absolutely such a great question. And you know, one of the great benefits of what we've experienced in 2020 I really believe that it is bringing more people together, that we have a greater level of understanding and empathy and hopefully more grace toward people. You know, As a leader, one of the first things that I would say is, you're only as strong as your team, as the strength of your team, the talent on your team, the trust you've built with your team. And when you have a great team, first of all, you can delegate, so know as a leader, that you don't have to do everything. And in fact, you shouldn't do everything. One of the things that I share in my keynotes is that the higher you go, the less you should know, not because you don't have education or experience, but it's because you should be focusing on the vision on this strategy, on the culture of your team and of the organization and of taking care of yourself, because you can't give from an empty cup. So that's the first thing I would say is delegate. The second thing I would say is that you do not have to be a Superman or Superwoman, you are human. And early in the early years of my career, I tried to keep a very tight grip, I would say on how I showed up. And I would say that I tried to be as close to perfect as possible. Clearly, I am imperfect with many imperfections. But I would say that things transformed in my relationships with my team and the influence that I had with others, when I started to become more human. So to your point, we are all experiencing a barrage of emotions, and those emotions change throughout the day. So being human and sharing, you know, today is a tough day, for whatever reason, and you don't have to share the reason or you could share the reason what's important is balancing that vulnerability with some measure of hope. And that's the responsibility of a leader. And that's how you avoid those negative trickle down emotions having a negative impact on your team, be vulnerable, be honest, be human, but also bring a little bit of hope around. For example, I don't know how we're going to get through this. But I know that this is the team to do it. That's a very generic example. But just that little measure of hope, can help to balance things out and, and make you a more influential leader. The last thing that I'll say out two more things. From an entrepreneurial perspective, if you are trying some things that what wherever you are in your journey, but especially if you're in that, you know, planning phase or ready to launch phase or newly launched phase, I would recommend to focus, focus on one thing, focus on doing that one thing really, really well. And listen to the marketplace. If the marketplace is radio silent, that may mean that that's not the right opportunity for you, and that you need to pivot. If the market is responding with great vigor and excitement around what you're doing, then do more of that. But focus is what I would say. The last thing that I'll say is around goal disengagement. Sometimes the goals that we have, they are just not going to be achievable. And oftentimes, it's easy as humans, especially as Type A personalities are very, you know, stalwart driven leaders. We want to stick to that goal, and you know, focus and do whatever we can to accomplish that goal. But sometimes it's better to disengage from goals, where you've confronted the reality, and you've reflected and you have identified that this may not be achievable. It's okay to disengage from those goals, grief, because it's an emotional process to change. But then when you create new goals, and when you believe in yourself, and you're willing to take risk, that brings a new measure of hope, and a new measure of optimism so that you can move forward with more confidence and more fervor. So those are a few things that I would share, you know, in these tumultuous times, and as you said, the confluence of crises.
Paul Zelizer 44:14
Thanks so much for that, Kristen. One of the things I love about our printers is we have a very diverse audience, and in particular, get this fabulous group of young entrepreneurs who are passionate about having positive impact and creating a life for themselves where, you know, I like to joke. our listeners aren't the kind of people that are looking to live in a mansion and flying a private jet plane, but they are looking to live a quality of life while making a difference. What would you say to a young diverse entrepreneur is passionate about making the world a better place and is working on growing into that, you know, I can live a really good quality life doing impactful work.
Kristin Harper 44:58
I think that's the best place to To be in, a lot of times people chase things that really don't bring them joy, and really don't bring fulfillment. So if you are doing something that you love, and if you're able to live the lifestyle that you want, and if you're able to contribute to the world to make it more meaningful, and more purposeful, and to leave a legacy, I think you're in the best place possible. So keep doing what you're doing.
Paul Zelizer 45:31
Because I could talk to you all day, and I don't want to do that to you. And I don't want to do that to our listeners, if there was something you were hoping we were going to get to in our interview today, and we haven't touched on it. Or if there was something you want to leave our listeners with, as we bring this conversation to a close, what would that be,
Kristin Harper 45:50
I would just say as a relates to leadership as it relates to emotional intelligence, as it relates to your own growth. It is a life long journey, it's not a destination, there is no point at which you can say I have mastered leadership, or I've mastered emotional intelligence, with every situation with every waking day, with the news cycle that we experienced, there will always be stimuli, there will always be things that are out of our control. But I would encourage you to control the controllables, I'd encourage you to be thoughtful about how you respond, and to identify and pinpoint that emotion. So you can reduce this power over you. And to forgive yourself, and to forgive others, and express gratitude. Because oftentimes, we hold we have these halos around or these clouds kind of hanging over our heads of guilt, or regret, or this negativity. And when we can shift our minds when we can shift our attention and our focus to that which brings us joy, and reaffirms us and says you know what, we're human, I made a mistake. But here's what I learned. And this is what I'm going to do next time. That will, that is the essence, I think, have a great life. So just know that we're always on a journey. And I'm here to support you in that journey and would love to connect with you online as you continue to grow your business to grow your own leadership prowess, and to make a difference in the world.
Paul Zelizer 47:35
Kristin, thank you so much for being on the show today.
Kristin Harper 47:38
Thank you, Paul. It has been such a pleasure.
Paul Zelizer 47:40
So that's all the time we have for today's interview. Thank you so much for listening in. Reminder, we now as of May went to two episodes a week, every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop a new episode and we love listener suggested guests and topics. So if you have an idea, please go to the where printers website hit our contact form. And let me know what you're thinking Who should we be talking to or what should we be talking about? For now, I just want to say thank you so much for listening. Please, please take care of yourself. These are very pointed times and thank you for all the positive impact that you're working to
WHAT IS AWAREPRENEURS?
Awarepreneurs is a popular conscious business and social entrepreneur podcast. You can find out more at www.awarepreneurs.com