278 | 5 Tips for Couples Growing an Impact Business Together with Paul Zelizer
This week on the pod is our montly solo episode with Paul Zelizer. Paul is the Founder & CEO of Awarepreneurs and the host of the popular Awarepreneurs podcast. He's also been a coach for social entrepreneurs and conscious business owners for more than 15 years.
5 Tips for Social Entrepreneur Couples: Episode with Paul Zelizer
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SPEAKERS
Paul Zelizer
Paul Zelizer 00:01
Hi, this is Paul Zelizer, and welcome to the Awarepreneurs podcast. On this show, we dive deep into wisdom from some of the world's leading social entrepreneurs. Our goal is to help increase your positive impact your profits, and your quality of life. Before we get into today's topic, I have one request. If you could hit subscribe and do a review on your favorite podcast app, that helps more people learn how to have positive impact through a values based business. Thank you so much. Today, your host is me. Paul Zelizer, founder of aware printers, and the host of this podcast. And our topic is 5 Tips for Social Entrepreneur Couples. Now, I don't know if this happens for you. But things sometimes show up and kind of like waves or, you know, you see some things repeating. And in the past six months, I've really been blessed to work with some wonderful couples who in a variety of different configurations are growing an impact venture, or an initiative or a project together. And it's been really fun. And sometimes when you see these things happen to matter of fact, a mentor mindset if you see something once Paul, show up, pay attention, if it shows up twice, you know, write it down. If it happens three times or more, it's probably a good time to create some content on it. So thus, this episode, a little bit of background and full transparency, I am in a fabulous relationship with a incredibly impactful woman named Eva, Eva, his area of impact is the prison industrial complex, we're both super interested in social change, but we're not in business together. Even I are very supportive. But I just want to be in full transparency, that I'm not like CO leading my business with a partner, but people are coming to Me for guidance and suggestions and finding their way I've been doing this work for 16 years, it's something I've seen a lot. And in the past six months, it's happened more often than ever. So thus, this episode. So in this episode, I want to give you five things to think about some tips and some suggestions and each of these areas, dive into a little bit of wisdom about what might help you, you know, make your way together as a couple in an impact business in a skillful way. And then some thoughts to wrap up at the end. So the five tips are, don't do an impact business in a brand new romantic relationship, at least not as equal co founders. Number two, be clear about the strengths and challenges of each partner. Number three, talk about how you each do money. Number four, schedule a couple time really make it a priority. Spend time, that's not business related if you're going to run a business together. And number five, be mindful about where you get support. So the first one is, hopefully it's self explanatory, but it feels like it's needs some saying. And that is don't do an impact. Business together as equal partners as co founders in a new romantic partnership, what qualifies as two new you get to decide, but certainly if you're in your first year or two, you know, that's putting a lot of pressure on a relationship to both get to know each other, and all the romantic and navigate all the things about a modern relationship and trying to run a business together. I feel like that's best if you are gonna do it. And let me just say not everybody is well suited for trying to run a business with a partner. This is an advanced, you know, move. And try to do when you're just getting to know each other as humans, and as romantic partners. And maybe you're thinking of living together you do live together, there's just a lot to put on a relationship. So my suggestion is, don't at least as equal partners. I have seen people hire a partner for their skill set and then work towards things over time, and that I have no issues with soever. But don't start it together. This episode is for people who are very intentionally, you know, coming in as partners and owning the business together. If one person has a business that's, you know, going well, and the other person has skills that can support that business, feel free to contract, feel free to come up with creative arrangements. But in that case, one person is the founder or owner and is really driving and the other person is there as a contractor as a support person. And if you're there as a support person, it really is your job to listen to what's wanted. You have your opinions and your expertise, but the person who is the founder, or is the leader, let them lead and you come on with your skill sets. Again, no issue with that but don't try to start together run One together. If you're pretty early on in relationship, I've just seen some real train wrecks. The second tip I have is be clear about each person's strengths and challenges. None of us are perfect. We all have things we're really, really good at. And then we have some things we're not so great app, for instance, I'm a classic visionary founder, I'm really good at the big picture. I'm really good at big picture strategy. But I'm dyslexic. I sometimes joke with iva, you know, I can be like the absent minded professor, there's a certain kind of level of granularity, that it's good for me to get support with. And I have a great bookkeeper. And I have people who help hold me accountable. And I hire for certain things. Because beyond a certain level of granularity, I tend to drop some balls. So just be clear about what you're bringing what your strengths are, if you have two people with the same strengths, that can get, you know, a little messy. And if you have people with, you know, challenges, it's important that they're held with compassion, we understand what they are, try not to go in blind, try to have some really honest conversations, and how do your different strengths make for a more well rounded business? And how are you going to plan for the challenges that either of you might have, so that you're not putting your financial well being into a situation that's, you know, got an extra level of emotional vulnerability, because not only are you bringing your touch needs, your emotion needs, what you think should happen in the household if you're living together. And now you're also bringing you know, your financial needs and your impact goals. So just be skillful, and be willing to have honest and sometimes hard conversations. What are your strengths? What are your challenges? And how are you going to plan for both of those so that you're not caught by surprised or you're not, you know, one person is playing nice, I put nice in quotes, until they get so resentful that it comes out sideways, just proactively let's have a conversation, I would advise this with any co founders or any leadership team. But I think it's especially true when a couple is trying to work together. And especially in an impact business where you're not just trying to make money, you're also trying to make an impact, bringing the intentionality of hey, we all have strengths, we all have challenges. Here's what I think some of mine are, let's talk about some of yours are. And how do we do this with caring compassion for where we're both got, you know, really good things going on. And where we both would drop some balls if there wasn't care systems and support. Number three, talk about how you each do money. Money is one of the most significant challenges. When you look at when couples come apart, or when divorce happens. Money is one of the more significant contributors to conflict in relationships. And again, just be proactive about that. So if you're gonna do business, or you're talking seriously about growing an impact business together with your partner, then let's talk about how you each do money. And maybe one person is more long term Big Picture oriented and needs to be looking five or 10 or 30 years down the road. And maybe one person is a little more in the moment and does money that way. Maybe you have different spending habits. Maybe you do different things, you know, when money comes in, you might have different priorities. It's very important. If you're going to do this together, again, because there's already a wide variety of needs. And things you're navigating as a couple, if you bring money together, specially if you're both doing this business as your primary financial means of support, and also that passion and sense of purpose that an impact business can provide. It's why I'm so passionate about social entrepreneurship. But if you're not on the same page as your partner, and you're approaching it quite differently, and you don't have some agreements, you haven't had a lot of conversation about how the money part of the business is going to get handled, given your values, given your goals, then that's a place where you can take an issue that's already challenging for many couples and add fire to it add more friction. So get ahead of that. Say, Hey, honey,
Paul Zelizer 09:33
we're talking about doing this or we're doing this, let's sit down and have some conversations and again, what are some of your money goals? What are you know, how do you do money? What are you thinking in terms of the next five years or the next 10 years or even the next quarter? And here's some of the things I'm thinking, how do we sync this up? How do we be intentional with each other and create compassionate room for us to each have our way How we do money, and then a process for deciding together, as opposed to not having the conversations and having resentment or fear, or just a big surprising emotional charge show up. Because you haven't been proactive in this area. Number four, I encourage you to be very intentional about scheduling coupled time. And what I mean by this as non business related couple tie. So you're already going to be spending quite a bit of time together, specially if you live together, you have kids together, right? Now you're running a business together, right? That's a lot of time together. But I'm talking about quality of emotional romantic time together. And that oftentimes falls down the priority list when you have some of these other ways of relating, and then you're like, you can go months of like, hey, yes, we are spending all this time together. But we're talking about, you know, marketing strategies and revenue and hiring people. And that challenge that we had with a client or putting in a proposal or, you know, something's going really well, and you celebrate the win in the business aspect of your relationship. But what about going to hot tub resort together, or going and seeing that movie, or making a nice dinner or spending a Saturday morning lounging around in bed the way many couples would do, oftentimes, that can come off the radar a little bit when you start running a business together. So what I encourage people to do is really be intentional, make sure you're scheduling that quality, coupled time, and that it doesn't get lost in the mix of all these other ways of spending time together. Because sometimes what I see happen is, when that goes down that quality of emotional connection time, then things happen in the business. And it can be easy to think Well, I see this person all the time are talking and all that, you know, it's so many different ways. But if it feels like most of the conversation is happening around business, and some emotional or romantic part of your partner isn't feeling met, think about their love language, maybe their love languages touch and you're spending a lot of time together talking about business. But it's been a while since you've been you know, lounging around in bed together and just cuddled up on a Saturday morning, then you're going into a business, you know where there's a lot on the line. And that person's love, you know, bucket isn't feeling filled, because you haven't been spending quality, romantic time, it's a couple, there's more likely to be conflict or challenge. So again, schedule quality couple time together, over and above whatever kind of time you're spending together, as co founders or leaders have an impact business. And lastly, I really encourage you to be mindful about where you get support, both individually and as a couple. So there's a couple thought I have about this. One is sometimes when there's not support of people understanding what it's like to be a leader in business, and then in particular, be in a leadership process with your partner. I've seen people sometimes it spills over. So somebody's talking to a colleague that works with both of you. And you're kind of complaining about your partner, because you had a difficult conversation about which direction to go in the business, where maybe somebody goes to a coach or a therapist, and that coach or therapist doesn't have a lot of business experience. And they can be really supportive from a relationship perspective. But they're not as familiar with the kinds of terrain you're trying to navigate as different leaders with different styles, strengths and challenges in a business together. And you're getting advice that's purely on a romantic or, you know, couples support basis. But you're not getting the support from somebody who's got some experience and has some familiarity with the terrain you're trying to navigate. As business leaders. I've also seen the alternative people will lean into their business support. You know, they've got a coach, a business coach or a mastermind buddy or they have a mentor, but they either haven't made it part of the conversation or that person's just less comfortable, maybe doesn't have as much experience with couples running a business together. And they're sharing great information or strategies are there supporting one of the partners in the way that they would with a business leader but they're, if they're not holding the context that this is also your partner yours spouse, somebody you're living a life with, over and above the business, I've seen some not so helpful advice come forth and things that were challenging to the couple, which also had a big impact on the business. So those are the five tips I have for you. Overall, I think it's a beautiful thing, when couples are in a good place to, you know, their skills are complimentary, they have the ability, each person has the ability to communicate effectively, you're not afraid to have hard conversations, they're looking for both complimentary, and also compassionate systems of how to incorporate both their strengths when those things are in place. And people have really done it intentionally. I've seen some fabulous examples of couples running an impact business together growing an impact business together, that really just makes for an incredible quality of life, a lot of joy, a lot of sense of meaning, a lot of sense of purpose, when some of these things that we talked about today are not in place. I've seen stress, I've seen conflict. I've seen these kinds of issues, at times tear couples apart. So that's what I got. If you have thoughts, I'd love to hear your this is a topic again, like I said, a lot of people are showing up. If you have resources, if you have experience, you have a story of what's been helpful to you as somebody who's been in a couple or something that's not been so helpful to you. As somebody who's been working on running an impact business, I'd love to hear your thoughts. So before we go, I just want to say I love working with couples who are thinking about impact business, whether you're in the process of is this a good idea? Do we you know, fit as a complementary and Compassionate Leadership Team for an impact business or you're already in that position, and you'd like somebody who can help you navigate a challenge or help really think about the next iteration seen couples where one was working behind the scenes and was more on a contract basis. And they leave a part time job or they're I've watched couples recently to help a couple merge two separate businesses into one business. So if that's the kind of support you're looking for, again, I love doing that work, you can take a look at the services on Paul zelizer.com. There'll be a link in the show notes. And let's talk if I might be able to support you in your impact business dreams that you either already or thinking about doing with your partner. So before we go, I just want to say thank you so much for listening. We love listeners suggested topics and guests. If you have an idea for one of our guest interview topics or you have an idea for one of these solo episodes, please go to a word printers.com Go to our contact page and take a look of what's going on there. In terms of our guidelines. If you have an idea, you feel like it fits those guidelines, please send it on in for now. I just want to say thank you so much for listening. Please take really good care and these intense times. And thank you for all the positive impact that you're working for in our world.