252 | 4 Leadership Resiliency Strategies for Challenging Times
This week on the pod is our montly solo episode with Paul Zelizer. Paul is the Founder & CEO of Awarepreneurs and the host of the popular Awarepreneurs podcast. He's also been a coach for social entrepreneurs and conscious business owners for more than 15 years.
Episode with Paul Zelizer on Leadership Resiliency Strategies
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SPEAKERS
Paul Zelizer
Paul Zelizer 00:02
Hi, this is Paul Zelizer, and welcome to another episode of the Awarepreneurs podcast. This podcast is all about the intersection of three things: conscious business, social impact, and awareness practices. Three times a month, I do a deep dive interview with somebody who's a thought leader in that intersection. Once a month - today - I do a solo episode on a topic that's related to social entrepreneurs and impact leaders. Before I get into our topic, I have one request. If you could go over to Apple podcasts or whatever app you're listening to this show on, do a rating and a review hit the subscribe button, it helps tremendously. Thanks so much. Today, our topic is 4 Leadership Resiliency Strategies for Challenging Times. And it's with myself. My name is Paul Zelizer. And I'm the founder and CEO of the Awarepreneurs brand and the host of the Awarepreneurs podcast.
Paul Zelizer 00:57
So a little story.
Paul Zelizer 00:59
It's been a rough couple of weeks for a lot of leaders in the impact space. We have in my network, we have people grieving, after significant shootings in places like Buffalo and Texas. We've had people in our community needing to move due to housing costs going up and you know, having to move several steps states away. And other people are going through breakups, caring for family members or loved ones who are dealing with health crises. In a while, all that's going on in my own personal world, if you've listened to this podcast, you know, I'm a trail runner in the mountains are my church, it's a place, it's a huge part of my self care practice in a place like go for restoration. And we joke about in my little trail running community, that single track revival church, that single track is a, you know, narrow, just wide enough for one person as opposed to like a road in the mountains, just a little trail that winds through the trees, and there's something that really revives me and others in my network. Well, we've had the single biggest fire in New Mexico history and one of the worst fire seasons in New Mexico in recorded history. And we're only in early June. So the mountains are closed. And obviously that disrupted a significant practice that I take advantage of, for self care and just kind of working through hard things. So there's more hard things, for many leaders that we're trying to metabolize ourselves and help our communities respond to and grieve, and sometimes do, you know, crisis intervention and having to think about, you know, helping the communities we care about, while we as leaders are maybe have challenges ourselves in terms of you know, inflation is up, and what do we have to invest in self care. It's a complicated time for leaders. And so I wanted to share some leadership resiliency practices just for leaders that, gosh, I've been in the impact space. And in the wellness space.
Paul Zelizer 03:19
30 plus years, I'm a little embarrassed to say,
Paul Zelizer 03:22
it's been a long time I've learned a thing or two. And it's a conversation that I'm having, both privately with my one, one client, it's coming up in the AWARE printers community, people were expressing, we have a little LinkedIn pod. And people were saying that they felt really grateful that we're not just talking about LinkedIn, but that we've seen some folks, you know, having to pull back and be less committed than they were hoping, because of some of these kinds of events. And that they were really grateful to be in a community where, you know, we were talking about some of these issues and how people were responding to him, rather than just what's your LinkedIn strategy posts this number of times use these hashtags.
Paul Zelizer 04:07
So it just made me think, I think it's a good time to, you know, explore this topic. And here's four strategies that I want to share with you. I'm gonna tell you what they are. And then we'll dive deeper down into what each one is, and some thoughts, some strategies, some resources that might help you. You know, if you wanted to experiment with this strategy in your leadership world, that might help you do that.
Paul Zelizer 04:35
Number one, I want to encourage you to revisit your own self care as a leader. I just give you an example like the mountains are shot, doesn't mean I can't be outside. But the deep dive experiences that I really get nourishment from have been disrupted by the fire season and by the closing of wilderness areas throughout New Mexico and throughout the American West.
Paul Zelizer 05:01
Number two, I want to talk about the opposite of toxic positivity. This comes out of Victor Frankel's work, and what is toxic positivity? And how can we do something that's more helpful, more sustaining, more resilient than toxic positivity.
Paul Zelizer 05:20
Number three, I want to encourage us as leaders to make room for uncomfortable feelings. Because there's a lot of uncomfortable feelings in so many different ways right now. And by asking questions by trying to create psychological safety and doing some other things, as leaders, we can have a tremendous impact on both the formal communities we lead, but also informally, when we're more peer leaders, people who make room for emotional intelligence type of conversation, when there's challenges. It's a very different experience to be in communities like that.
Paul Zelizer 06:01
And then the fourth strategy I have to share with you comes from the work of Miriam cava, and she says, to let this radicalized you, rather than lead you to despair. But this radicalized you, rather than lead you to despair? What do I mean by radicalized you? And how does that work? And what does that mean for impact leaders, that's what we're going to talk about in just a minute.
Paul Zelizer 06:31
So let's get into the first strategy of revisiting self care. And in specific, because these are such disruptive times, and so much more is being asked for, at least for me, as a leader, and many of the leaders that I'm in connection with, we need to be responsive to the economic changes that are happening, as well as what's going on for the people and communities we care about. There's more going on, on almost all of those levels. So to a big suggestion I'd have is to circle back around to what is your self care routines and practices look like? Go back to the basics. And just ask yourself, for instance, exercise, oh, Paul can't do a long run in the mountains in quite the way that he has in the past because the mountains are closed, because we don't want to start poor fires, like we've seen here. So you know, how am I going to adapt? How am I going to change for instance, I'm still running. But I made a decision to shift to what we would call the running world, the strength block, right? I used to work out a lot in the gym, got into running, I'm still running regularly. But while we're kind of sorting things out, I was like, this is a really good time to maybe let my joints heal and work on another aspect. It's a very nuanced example. It's not so much about running or strength training. But just to give you an example, okay, what was working for me in terms of exercise very well, I've had to pivot had to make some changes and asking that question about, what are you doing in the realm of exercise similar with diet, right? I know when I'm under stress, I tend to skew towards, you know, I want sweets or, you know, things that are comfort foods and not necessarily eat quite as cleanly, but then that kind of set certain things in motion. Right? So just revisiting exercise diet. What are you doing in the realm of social support? I know many people in my circles, there's more being asked of them from kids who are going through hard times, or, you know, family members or the communities are leading, they're being asked to work more or just more draws on their attention. So what does that mean for you in terms of your own social support? How's that going? Or maybe the people you have in your life are awesome, nothing's really changed there. But you're just more shaky. I've been more wobbly. I went through a period of feeling, you know, challenged by this confluence of things that happened between the fires and shootings and seeing more white nationalism happened in the US all that really kind of led to some shakiness and wobbliness. I call it in my being that I hadn't seen in a while and I started talking to friends and just naming it and saying, Hey, I'm more wobbly, I'm more flaky. I was needing more sleep, etc, etc, letting the people in my inner circles know about that. And they were doing a really good job of checking in on me and ask how you doing? And I felt really good. So social support, what might you need? What's happening there there any changes or any additions that might want to happen?
Paul Zelizer 09:52
Also, spirituality like I meditate every day, right? It's only seven minutes, but it's a critical part of my day, right? So
Paul Zelizer 10:00
I'm looking at these buckets of self care. And these are some that I might offer. Again, those are exercise, diet, nutrition, social support, and spirituality. So think about what's going on in the buckets that are important in your world? And how is that working for you? On a scale of one to 10? How wobbly Are you feeling? And are there additions or changes or maybe some subtractions, that won't happen to help you be more resourced as a leader in these really challenging times?
Paul Zelizer 10:42
The second strategy, it comes from the work of Viktor Frankl and he,
Paul Zelizer 10:49
he's been a real inspiration for me, the book Man's Search for Meaning many people have gotten a lot of value out of that book. I'm culturally Jewish. So the fact that many of the Wisdom Teachings that he has in that book came from his time in a concentration camp, and how do you respond to challenges like that? Just, I don't know, it just inspires me and, and it helps if he and others could get through that time from my lineage, you know, it helps me in challenges that we're facing.
Paul Zelizer 11:23
And he gave some language that I think could be really helpful. And he talks about one frame is toxic positivity. And what that means is, you know, imagine you're in a concentration camp, what they noticed is that people who are rah rah rah, like, this is all going to be over in just a couple of days or a week, you'll see like, you know, this is all just going to end and we're going to be fine. Don't worry about it, right? Those kinds of focus and challenging situation, people that take that approach, which he calls toxic positivity, rah rah, rah, just, you know, the more things get hard, the more you ramp up that cheerleader rah, rah, rah, it's all gonna be great kind of energy. Those were the folks in the concentration camps that broke first, and oftentimes didn't survive.
Paul Zelizer 12:15
It was very noticeable to Frankel and other folks who were looking at it through this lens, the opposite of toxic positivity, he calls it tragic optimism. I don't know a lot of people that have tried to share that framework. They don't like that languaging for it. And by the way, I'll put a link to this in the show notes an article about toxic positivity that makes sense to people. I'm not attached to tragic optimism. But the antidote, what he is recommending for us what he's the wisdom is passing on, for strategy as leaders in challenging times, is, it's kind of like let these challenges break your heart open.
Paul Zelizer 13:00
Don't pretend rah rah, rah, it's like when we harden our hearts, and we like double down on optimism without a lot of substance there, then we're like eating, you know, food that doesn't have a lot of nutrition. The antidote is to come back to your values, your sense of purpose, and what's really meaning for you. And I've been really in that process in these times with so many confluence of challenges, it's really been helpful for me. And he's asking us or inviting us to come back to our values to come back to purpose to have a sense of service to others, to have a sense of like, well, I'm here right now. And even if these circumstances are just breaking my heart, as in a concentration camp, I'm going to still do my best to try to help others to live my values, to find or engage with a sense of purpose.
Paul Zelizer 14:03
This podcast is a credibly meaningful thing and being of service to social entrepreneurs, it feels as or more important than any other time in my life. So even though I get wobbly, there are challenges.
Paul Zelizer 14:18
When I wake up, and it's time to go to work, I look forward to it. It gives a sense of meaning to my day and the people that I'm so blessed you all, to be in conversation, to be in relationship to try to support you to have the positive impact in the world and to leverage business for a big lever to have as much positive impact as you can possibly have. That brings me so much
Paul Zelizer 14:46
sense of meaning. Oh god, I'm tearing up.
Paul Zelizer 14:52
It helps me
Paul Zelizer 14:55
know that. At least I'm doing my best
Paul Zelizer 15:00
I'm being of service to incredibly caring people who are doing the best that you all know how to do to make this world a better place.
Paul Zelizer 15:10
That's very different than when he's calling toxic optimism. So, you know, you don't like the frame tragic optimism, join the club, I don't love it.
Paul Zelizer 15:20
But a sense of like optimism with a willingness to let your heart be broken, and not try to reach for quick fixes. It's like the difference between an energy drink like just trying to, you know, and deep nurturance and rest and a healthy lifestyle, right, something that's sustainable. That's how I think about optimism in the way he's trying to encourage us to approach it, as opposed to, you know, quick fixes.
Paul Zelizer 15:52
This is a good time to sink down into values, your sense of purpose, and your sense of being of service.
Paul Zelizer 15:59
Number three, I want to encourage us all as leaders and as humans to do the best we can possibly do to make room for uncomfortable feelings.
Paul Zelizer 16:09
I have been speaking with many people and who've been had their lives disrupted in one way or another, somebody who lives in the Western New York area. And you know how the shooting that happened in Buffalo, which was very racially motivated, and
Paul Zelizer 16:30
really, you know, had profound ripple effects are the small communities of northern New Mexico that have been impacted by this fire, which are poor communities, largely Hispanic communities, and have, you know, it's disrupted a way of life that's gone on for generations.
Paul Zelizer 16:52
There's big emotions when you're not only your town, but your entire ecosystem burns down, or when a shooting in a cabin in Buffalo happens. I think it's really important for us as leaders, first of all, to make room for our own humanity, like, Oh, my God, our sense of shock, our sense of outrage or sense of fear or sense of, you know, it was it somebody I knew who was impacted all of those just normal human emotions and responses when crises like these are happening.
Paul Zelizer 17:29
The grieving the fear, the uncertainty, the outrage, the
Paul Zelizer 17:36
sense of like, I want to do something to change all of that, when we're in a culture that allows that, and this was a conversation that was happening even this morning, in our aware printers community, one of our little subgroups as a group that helps
Paul Zelizer 17:55
people make progress and learn how to use LinkedIn to grow their impact business. And folks in that group, we're saying they're so grateful that there's room, several people had a, you know, push pause for a little bit or, you know, just kind of fell off the map, and we're coming back and the group was very welcoming to them. And people were saying, there were some significant
Paul Zelizer 18:18
life events. And it really kind of took the wind out of their sails in some of the things they were doing, including LinkedIn, and how they grateful they were that they could come back and say, Sorry, folks,
Paul Zelizer 18:30
something happened, or maybe they shared some specifics. And you know, they had room to be human, as opposed to a wall, you know, you can't partake in this group, because you disappeared for a couple of weeks, and we didn't know where you were. So making room in the communities that we're leaders. For first for ourselves, it's hard to make room for anybody else. If we're just like, business as usual, I'm going to suggest that business, as usual, isn't working very well and is leading to cultures where people feel less safe.
Paul Zelizer 19:06
Because if I as a leader and relating to myself, Well, Paul, you're not allowed to have feelings at the mountains, you know, shut down, even though it's one of your biggest forms of self care. And you know, you just got to go to work and just shut up and get to work if that's how I'm talking to myself. Even if I don't say it out loud. Imagine what it feels like to be a member in a community where that's the response. That's the culture of how we're relating to these big events. Don't talk about it, people might get uncomfortable or whatever, right. I'm going to suggest that the kind of impact that our listeners that you listener want to have,
Paul Zelizer 19:47
you're going to be more likely to have it you're going to be more likely to stay in a sustainable relationship with your impact goals and growing your business. If you can as fast you're able make room for
Paul Zelizer 20:00
Your Own, oh my gosh, or this hurts, or I'm scared, or this is really hard, I'm grieving, as well as inviting the community that you're a leader in formally or informally, to make some space for that
Paul Zelizer 20:18
doesn't mean that everything turns into a therapy session, because that's not what I do anymore. And most of our listeners don't do that, either. Sometimes we might have to have some appropriate referrals or some spaces, or, you know, create containers. So it's not 24/7, but some way of making room for what's going on. In an emotional intelligence way. Being an emotionally intelligent leader trying to create psychological safety as best you can, is, I'm gonna say in these challenging times critical for our own well being mental health and sustainability as leaders, as well as for our members of the communities that we are trying to help and resource. Can we go back to that example? Social Entrepreneurs learning how to use LinkedIn, that are nervous systems get hijacked? When we're in very strong emotions, like fear, like anger, like outrage, we can't easily learn how to use LinkedIn until we can settle down, find a sense of safety and return to it. Yeah, that's right, LinkedIn, as well as my strategies as a social entrepreneur. And I care about this group, and I'm going to come back.
Paul Zelizer 21:37
How can we create those kinds of environments where emotional intelligence and psychological safety is something we're attending as best we know, House leaders, I would say starts with making room for ourselves. And then as best we can, making room in the communities were part of, and I would suggest, that's a game changer in these times. Again, that fourth strategy is to let this radicalized you, rather than lead you to despair. And that comes from the work of Marianne Kaba, I'll put a link to her website and thought my mind a lot, my wonderful girlfriend got us both T shirt with the saying, as part of a fundraiser that values align cross. And it's kind of like a, like a pairing with the previous strategy. Sometimes I see certain communities, depending on the values of that community, we'll go all into the emotional intelligence in the psychological safety. And it can become I've certainly sat in circles over my 30 plus years of working towards positive change. That started to feel for me and many others, like it's a became like a processing circle or continuous processing or therapy. And I don't think over the long haul, that's what most of us on this podcast want? I certainly don't, that is a part of it. But at a certain point, like when we've sort of, we're, as we're doing these simultaneously, there also wants to be a sense of action, a sense of activism in our own way as you define it, right. Without that, I think the genius of this quote, because she's connecting activism, as an antidote is like a medicine, for despair. My sense of a lot of people who are oriented to positive change, if we only stay on the personal, here's how I'm feeling about it. Let me process this grief, this fear, this outrage about this topic. Without going into action, it doesn't lead to sustainable well being. At some point, you have to look around and say, Wow, something needs to change here. And how can I be supportive of that change? How can I be a part of that change? As I say that, I also want to say we can't all work on everything. There's a lot of numerous significant challenges in the world right now. So a couple of thoughts in the realm of how can we, you know, be radicalized you know, be inspired to action be another way to think about it in a way that doesn't burn us out. 27 things we're trying to do all with, you know, full throttle to the floor with our full energy and investment and intensity. It's not sustainable.
Paul Zelizer 24:54
So, for me, what I would like to offer is How can you find ways of like where is a sense of leverage? So for me, social entrepreneurship, because in a modern economy, we spend most of our waking hours working, if we're an adult, and if we're not, you know, retire didn't get a huge inheritance. Even, you know, in the case of working for positive impact, something really inspiring, right? We may or may not be putting quite as many hours into that if money to live on wasn't required. It's, it's a huge concentration of our time, our energy and our resources, and thus, the ripple effects are profound. What we do for work, how we earn and spend our money is one way to think about it, I think has as much impact or more impact than just about anything I can think about. Recycling is great. But if you work for a company that's producing goods that harm the earth for 4050 6070 hours a week, and you recycle for 15 minutes a week on a Sunday, you can see where I'm going with that. So look for leverage, where is a place with your skills, your resources, your network, that you feel like you're particularly equipped to have a positive impact. I know a lot of social entrepreneurs, I have this podcast, this podcast is one of my primary forms of activism helping you our listeners get better at what you do. And you all are working on such incredible things. That's a way where I can get leverage, as opposed to trying to work on every issue myself. How can you find a few key ways 123 levers to pull on and to pull on them smarter, and with more attention to leverage than in any other point in your life? That's one of the ways I think about Merriam Qobuz. Quote, how can you be inspired into action in a very intentional way, rather than spiral into despair, as we're dealing with these challenges. But again, the wisdom of this quote is that action and despair are conducted, if we do very little in the form of action. I think that's highly correlated with higher degrees of despair. And when people with higher degrees of despair start moving into aligned action, that despair oftentimes goes down, and especially if we can sync it up with some of the other strategies on this list. I see leaders who are feeling wobbly, or uncertain, or in a lot of despair, start to move towards clarity, conviction, and that sense of Victor Frankel's that kind of optimism that he was encouraging us to find our own version. And that's my last suggestion is thinking about these not as isolated strategies, but how can we think up them into one resilient, sustainable, impactful lifestyle, only looking at, you know, self cares, is, it's an essential step. But without some of these others, I am seeing a lot of wellness communities where there's a lot of despair or a lot of that toxic optimism or positivity, sorry, that then collapses as somebody doesn't start to see some of the bigger issues change. I see a lot of people get inspired to action and get radicalized, but they're not making psychological safety, a really important aspect of their communities. And then those communities start to, you know, have all sorts of unhelpful dynamics start to show up in them as people, you know, start acting out some of the ways they're not feeling safe.
Paul Zelizer 29:15
So, how can you find some ways to sit with each of these and start to make them your own start to look into these areas and start to play with what wants to happen and self care? How am I doing in terms of sustainable optimism as opposed to top toxic positivity? How can I make more room for my own feelings and what's happening in the communities I care about? And have spaces where people feel like they can share feel like they can be human feel like they can acknowledge the challenges? And then lastly, how can we be inspired into action? And to look what we're doing? radical in its roots me means to the root. That's the definition, right? So how can we go down more into the roots and really sink into what are those practices in the world that are going to help you feel like you're making a difference, as opposed to spiraling into despair, put those together. That's where I think we start to see much more resilient leaders, people who are much more prepared to lead us in these challenging times. So that's what I have for you. If you do want a thought partner, you'd like some help. You're feeling like, boy, I'm not sure how you know what's going on in one of these areas, or specifically like how to sync them up. I do a strategy session, one time strategy session, you don't have to sign up for like six months of coaching, although I also offer that to you. But these strategy sessions are great for somebody who's looking at a particular question or two, like, how can I make sure I'm getting as much leverage for my in the world work? Or how can I create more psychological safety and room for people to share in emotionally intelligent ways so that my community feels safe enough to kind of return to some of the things we're working out whether that's LinkedIn or, you know, building certain kinds of products, or whatever your community is about. If these feelings hijack our nervous system, it's going to get in the way of the actual work of your mission, your impact statement, and your value. So if you could use some help with that, I'll put a link in the show notes. And let's talk about what's one, two or three big questions that he really liked to make some progress on. And I'm here for a thought partner to share resources and to help you really think about how to operationalize when your next steps are in any of these categories. So thanks so much for listening. Before I go, I just want to remind you, we love listener suggested topics and guests. If you have a suggestion, please go to the AWARE printers website. Take a look at our three criteria on the contact form we try to be really transparent what we're looking for. If you've got something that feels like it checks those boxes, please send it on in we love listener suggested topics and guests. And for now I just want to say thank you for listening. Please take really good care and these intense time and thank you for all the positive impact that you're working for in our world.